New Yorker | contributor Nov 2020 - present

my personal faves even though all of them are really good

  1. I’m a Person of Color and Everyone Is Suddenly Interested in Me—Something Bad Must Have Happened

  2. We at Instagram Want You to Know That if You Don’t Use Reels We Will Hurt You and Your Family

  3. Fight the Power! Brought to You by the Power

  4. How Immigrant Parents Say “I Love You” (Shouts & Murmurs Print Issue, Dec 2021)

  5. A Letter of Appreciation for All the Men Who Haven’t Sexually Harassed Me

  6. Tips for Riding Out the Upcoming Recession

  7. I’m a Billionaire Politician, but Here’s Why You, a Regular Person, Have to Save the World

  8. Nancy Pelosi’s Last Fund-Raising E-Mail

  9. An Honest Maid-of-Honor Speech at a Pandemic Wedding (Best of New Yorker Shouts 2020)

  10. Ugh, Dating Is So Hard These Days When You’re an Insufferable Person with a Bland Personality (Best of New Yorker Shouts 2021)

more New Yorker pieces

Family Members at Thanksgiving, Ranked

An A.A.P.I. Heritage Month Wish List

A Breakup Letter from the U.S. Government to Big Oil

Vehicle Registration with Olivia Rodrigo, Acting with Kamala Harris, and Other New MasterClass Sessions

The Guy Who Writes Confusing Parking Signs Explains Body Autonomy

Other Things You Can Shout Into the Mirror Besides “Bloody Mary” If You Want Company During Quarantine

If Social-Media Apps Were Parties You Were Obligated to Attend

Black-History Facts You Think Might Be True Because Your School Never Taught You Black History

Villainous “S.N.L.” Hosts We’re Excited to See Next

Help! I’m Watching a Christopher Nolan Movie Without Subtitles

“All I Want for Christmas Is You” and Five Other Things I’m Sick of Hearing

Relationship Advice from Your Aunt Who Has Been Divorced Six Times

Reductress (a satire Mag)

my faves

  1. White Man Terrified Of Walking Street Alone At Night In Case Stranger Calls Him Racist

  2. Police Remind Community That ‘Pride’ Wouldn’t Even Exist Without Them

  3. We Wanted to Celebrate International Women’s Day, So We Asked Rich, White Women to Speak Over Other Women

  4. Friend Who’s Uncomfortable Talking Politics Totally Cool Discussing How She Got Railed Last Night

  5. Uh-Oh! New Co-Worker Setting Dangerous Precedent By Responding To Emails Within Minutes

  6. How to Answer, ‘Where Are You REALLY From?’ When You’re From the Lost Island of Atlantis (headline only)

more Reductress pieces

Woman in Meeting Hopes She’s Not Bothering Anybody By Bringing Up Good Point

QUIZ: Are You Basic Or Is Everyone Basic But Thinks They Have to be ‘Different’ Due to Our Individualistic Society? (headline only)

Hypocrite? This So-Called Socialist is Earning Money at Her Job (headline only)

Woman Diagnosed As Highly Susceptible to Targeted Instagram Ads

Unbeknownst to Its Immense Power, Grandma Texts ‘K’ (headline only)

Nation’s Scientists Urged To Take Break From Finding Cure For a Lil’ Bit

Study Finds Constantly Refreshing Inbox Has No Effect On Fate

New Polls Predict Unprecedented Turnout to Therapy

New Study Confirms There’s Something Wrong With You for Sure

Vaccinated Woman Says Tearful Goodbye to Dent In Couch Where She Sat for Past Year

5 Ways to Cover Up Your Hot Outfit When You No Longer Want to Be Perceived

Intimate! This Woman’s Letting the Guy She’s Sleeping With See Her Meds

Woman Collapses from Overexertion After Drawing Eyeliner Perfectly on Both Sides

How to Overthink Every Achievement Until It Becomes a Bad Thing

Millennial Fondly Remembers When ‘Gossip Girl’ Was Just Toxic Rich People Fucking

Friend Who Followed Her Dreams Unfortunately Doing Pretty Well

Suspicious! Handsome Man With Job Wants to Date You

The Hard Times

Biden-Harris Campaign Promises to Fund More Black-Owned Prisons

Body Positivity Movement Afraid It Might Be Inclusive of White People With Dreadlocks

Opinion: We Should Reform, Not Abolish, the Forest Fires

How To Separate the Art From the Artist’s Annoying Social Media Presence

Flexx Mag

Illinois Resident Mourns Slight Damage To His Favorite Multinational Chain Retail Outlets

Immigrant Student Embarks On 4-Year Degree To Steal Job From Citizen

Points In Case, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady Comedy

my faves

  1. Introducing Marvel’s New Superhero, NEUTRAL MAN!

  2. Obituaries For Those Cancelled By Twitter

  3. As a rich, white celebrity, I’ve been struggling to find the right words to describe how I feel in the face of our nation’s great turmoil…

  4. COMING SOON TO NETFLIX: Another TV Show Where A White Woman Is Bad At Dating

  5. Out-of-Office Responses You Wish You Could Actually Send

other works

Here are the love languages of the world’s foremost tyrannical leaders.

Can We Align on the Intention Behind This Date?

These are all the times you can protest your government.

If My Hinge Bio Were Honest About My Anxiety

Everything That Could Go Wrong When A Girl (ME) Asks A Guy To Coffee.

I’m So Sorry to Hear About Your Break-Up That We All Saw Coming.

QUIZ: Which Devastating Side Effect Of COVID-19 Are You?

Different Points In The Conversation To Take Off Your Glasses & Reveal That You Are Secretly Hot